The least shocking celebrity crime wave was Lindsay's unceremonious falling off the ol' waggon. Yep. Our favorite bad gal Lindsay Lohan tested positive for the cocaine.... again... According to TMZ Lindsay has failed more than one drug test since being released from jail... although only one of them was for cocaine. They weren't specific about other drugs found in Lindsay's failed tests, but does it really matter? I mean, COCAINE after you JUST got out of jail??
Lindsay tweeted, because when life gets you down... you just gotta keep Tweetin' on: “Substance abuse is a disease, which unfortunately doesn’t go away over night. I am working hard to overcome it and am taking positive steps forward every day." And then she started attending 12 step meetings where paparazzi photographed her and TMZ criticqued her sexy outfit. Sometimes I am so glad I'm not a celebrity. Aren't you?
Russell Brand Gets Physical!
Next up on the weekend celebrity crimewave circuit is Russell Brand. He got arrested at LAX this weekend for getting into a fistfight with a paparazzi. We gotta give Russell a break though, he was trying to stop the photographer from getting an upskirt photo of Katy Perry. That's just wrong. And another reason why I'm so happy to not be famous.
Anyway, Katy also went on Twitter and defended Russell. She tweeted "If you cross the line & try an put a lens up my dress, my fiancĂ© will do his job & protect me.” I didn't know Katy hired Russell? Kidding. Kidding.